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    Tuesday, 14 July 2009

    10 Reasons Why I Wouldn't Work At Torchwood

    Having just finished watching the at-times stunning Torchwood: Children of Earth mini-series (despite the goodness, damn you for cutting it from a 13 to a 5 episode season, BBC! Damn you!), I have decided that working at Torchwood 3 with Jack and the (ever shrinking) gang could really suck.

    Here's 10 reasons why (possible SPOILERS below):

    10. Television viewing time would be severely decreased as the team spends a ridiculous amount of time at work.
    9. Risk of workplace being blown up much higher than current job. Could lose favourite mug in explosion.
    8. Tight deadlines based on regular end-of-the-world-type scenarios might lead to increased blood pressure.
    7. Elaborate workplace pranks are less fun when there's no chance of "accidentally" killing your annoying boss.
    6. Constant death and dismemberment of co-workers could really play havoc on workplace birthday cake roster.
    5. Would be forced to endure everyone being in love with the boss. Coffee break conversation likely to be limited and boring (or bitchy and really exciting, not 100% sure).
    4. Would possibly fall in love with the boss myself. This could be detrimental to my marriage. Curse your rakish good looks and masculine bravado, Captain Jack Harkness!
    3. Could find Cardiff difficult to navigate without the degree in Alien Languages required to understand Welsh. Additionally, might confuse Welsh citizens with aliens.
    2. Would have to work really hard to pretend that Gwen Cooper isn't more macho than I am. (She is.)
    1. My strong aversion to death makes me sensitive to the high probability of getting shot, virused, blown up or being disintegrated in a nuclear meltdown to death whilst on the job. Poor workplace safety standards are a major turn-off.


    Anonymous said...

    I just got linked to this site from a Doctor Who/Torchwood blog for the Wouldn't-Work-For-Torchwood article.

    I am now addicted to your posts. honestly, you're hilarious! You really need to do more lists, like "10 Reasons [insert list title here]". Like "10 Reasons Microsoft Ruling Earth is a Pretty Bad Idea", or "10 Reasons Why Being a Zombie Would Be Awesome".

    "10 Ways to Murder Your Boss Using Everyday Office Items", perhaps?

    RobRobot said...

    Thank you for the very kind as well as helpful feedback! It's funny that you should mention doing more lists as I actually just decided two or three days ago that I was going to go in that direction from now on.

    So expect more lists! Also, your list ideas are great - I might need to steal them for myself.

    Cheers, Rob.

    Anonymous said...

    Your blog's awesome - great when I'm proscrastinating. I LOVE your lists and your 'me vs whatever' posts.