10 Non-Obvious Reasons Why Being Spider-Man Would Be Awesome

At some point in their lives, most guys want to be a superhero of some description - Wolverine, Batman, Superman, etc. The difference between most guys and me is that I am still 100% certain that I will be a superhero. It's only a matter of time.

My superhero of choice? The Amazing Spider-Man. Here's 10 reasons you might not have thought of about why it would kick ass to be Spidey:

10. The ability to wear form-fitting spandex suits in public without making terrible fashion faux pas is a dream come true.
9. I would probably not be as afraid of spiders as I currently am.
8. Talking about your archnemesis(es) is a way cooler dinner party opener than 'How about that weather?'
7. Having the physique of a superhero makes buying jeans a much easier, less scary proposition.
6. Much wider audience for my witty one-liners.
5. Get to spend a lot more time outdoors. (Not really sure this is a perk in retrospect but I'm too lazy to change it now.)
4. Transportation costs significantly reduced. I would never have to wait for a bus again, or sit next to dubious fellow passengers who smell suspiciously of urine.
3. Being so agile and bendy makes even the weirdest shit in the Kama Sutra an option during "special cuddles".
2. Spider sense would significantly decrease the amount of times I walk into things, trip over things and generally hurt myself in new and amazing ways.
1. I guess having the proportionate strength, speed and agility of a spider along with a genius level IQ, the ability to cling to any surface, superhuman durability, reflexes and equilibrium and web-slinging skills would all be pretty good too.