Do Robots Twitter?

    follow me on Twitter

    Thursday, 7 August 2008

    If I Ruled the World...

    The following changes would occur:
    • 4 day working week, 3 day weekends for all! (because hey, I'm a benevolent dictator);
    • Day light savings will now be all year round (I just like it is all);
    • Chocolate would improve your fitness and tighten your abs;
    • Doctor Who seasons will consist of 40 episodes per year. David Tennant to be cloned if necessary (NB: Cloning technology to be perfected asap);
    • The scientists will give me godlike super powers, which I shall use to rule you all... benevolently;
    • World Leader (me) to be guarded by crack team of ninja pirate assassins; and,
    • Existence of aliens to be revealed to the world as a universal truth. The world's not flat and we're not alone, people!
    These items to be banned:
    • Calories in food. There will be no such thing as "bad food";
    • Zombies outside of movies (I like my brains in my head, thanks very much);
    • Women wearing shapeless baggy dresses with large belts and black tights. Sorry ladies, it's just not fashionable at all;
    • The wearing of Ugg boots as shoes in public, and/or the wearing of tights as acceptable out-of-home-or-gym pants. No. Just... no. You don't look cool. Wearing either of these things makes you look like an absolute tasteless fuckwit;
    • Almost all Reality TV. The brain melting must stop; and,
    • Petrol-driven cars. We all know the electric and water powered cars work and you bought the patents you car company BASTARDS! Stop killing our planet or I send my crack team of ninja pirate assassins to destroy you all.
    Obviously I would also cure the sick, end poverty, make hot chicks go out with geeks, bring back Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Serenity to TV and blah blah blah do all of the other good stuff that Ghandi was into... only probably better.

    One day my loyal minions, one day...

    1 comment:

    Anonymous said...

    AHHAHAH I like. :)