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    Friday, 18 December 2009

    Top 10 Reasons it Would Suck to Be An Ewok

    Ewoks have such a raw deal. George Lucas initially planned to make them Wookies. Wookies, for god's sake! How much ass would that have kicked? Heaps!

    Here are 10 other reasons why it would suck to be an Ewok:

    10. Height restrictions suck! Only allowed on the children's rides at Disneyland. Also not allowed to operate most heavy machinery.

    9. Very little designer clothing made for the Ewok market.

    8. People occasionally confuse you for a koala, when you clearly descend from the drop bear family.

    7. Difficult to get the girls - they don't like dating guys/ewoks who are shorter than them.

    6. Even if you do get the girl, she will probably an ewok and, let's be honest, they're not great lookers.

    5. C-3PO would be just about the shittiest god I could possibly imagine.

    4. All that fur makes Summer a real bitch. Don't even get me started on waxing that bikini line.

    3. The language barrier makes it difficult for humans to distinguish between Ewok for "You look nice today" and "Holy fucking shit, watch out for that AT-ST!"

    2. Tendency to be cast as comedy sidekicks in action sequences, even when you absolutely decimate the technically and numerically superior invading force using a couple of logs and some stones.

    1. People find it difficult to take you seriously when your name is Wicket and you don't wear pants.

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